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    It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:40 am

    Ryder smiled happily up at Felix, watching him gently brush some of his hair away. The boy found himself continue to smile, unable to really stop. Whenever he was around Felix he instantly felt uplifted and calm; better than he had felt in over 4 years. Scratch that. He's felt better than he has most of his life. "Mornin' Felix" He said cheerfully, head still gently resting next to the other man's torso. He was terribly comfortable, and truly didn't want to get up. But he knew it was about 8, according to his clock on the wall, and his meds would be coming soon, and he didn't want Felix to get in trouble for staying with him. But he made no efforts what so ever to move. In fact, he seemed to only melt further into Felix.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:52 am

    "I hope you slept good," Felix said in that groggy, sleep-induced voice. It took his normal tone deeper and slightly raspy, and god was it a sound to hear. His hand rested on Ryder's back, keeping him in his place, though it really wasn't necessary. Ryder didn't seem to keen on moving from the spot he was in. "Because I sure did," he added absently, drawing circles on Ryder's lower back. It was just a habit. He liked to make patterns and shapes. It didn't really matter if he was drawing them with a pen or just his finger. It was a relaxing sort of motion. It focused his mind, and it helped wake him up some.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:05 am

    Ryder felt like he was sucked into a dream when he focused on Felix's voice. It was so.... amazing. He really couldn't find words to describe it. It just drew him in, and he really loved the sound of his morning voice. "Yeah, I did" He replied "Thanks to you" He added quietly. Unlike most nights, he actually managed to sleep without waking once. To top it off, it was a very peaceful sleep. Normally his nights were filled with constant stirring, waking up and heart wrenching nightmares that still haunted Ryder in his normal every day tasks. It normally was the same one that happened night after night, always the same. He was always stuck in a large dark room, and the longer he stayed, and the more he tried to get out, the smaller the room got. No matter how loud he screamed, or how much he kicked or hit the walls, it only got smaller. To the point it crushed him. Then he was in a whole other place. Full of people as far as the eye could see. They were all former friends, family, enemies, even strangers. Ryder tried to speak to them, but none acknowledged him. They never looked at him, spoke, no sound was present. Except a faint buzz. He eventually would break down and cry on the ground, sending him to a whole new dream. He was paralyzed in fear, unable to move or even breathe. Then overwhelming pain would overtake him and he would fall to the ground, thrashing in pain. It was almost as if his body was on fire, getting ripped apart. And at that, he would normally wake up, crying and unable to fall back asleep. But not even a shimmer of night, are crept into his dreams, and he slept soundly.And event he thought of no more nightmares made him smile.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:12 am

    His massive hand ruffled Ryder's already messy mane of hair good-naturedly. His movements were slightly sluggish with sleep. It was a fact that Felix was one of the slowest "wake-uppers" ever. It usually took him an hour and at least two cups of coffee to be properly functioning. This morning would be no different, but he wasn't planning on getting out of the bed until Ryder made him. He was to cozy, to comfortable. Plus, moving sounded like a lot more work than Felix really wanted to engage in. Laying there felt so natural. It was way to relaxing for his own good. "Well, I'm glad I could help," he responded slowly.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:34 am

    Grrr.... Bad internet connection Dx Kicking me off-line all day
    --
    Unlike Felix, Ryder was very much a morning person. He was able to wake up very easily, even when he's had little to no sleep. But that didn't mean he wasn't equally as lazy. He too didn't particularly want to move from the spot they were in, terribly comfortable. But alas, the dark haired boy reluctantly pulled away from Felix, sitting up. His wild hair was more messy than normal, but he paid no attention to it. His body twisted into a slightly unnatural position, as his nimble fingers reached over to the white table, grabbing his glasses. He then turned back towards Felix, dragging his legs into a criss-cross position, pushing his glasses on. His dark indigo eyes rested on the other man, and he couldn't stop the little grin that formed on his lips. He didn't know what to really say, and to be honest, he liked the silence. It was very comfortable, not awkward like it was with other people that visited him. But a warm, inviting silence, that held no room for stiffness.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:03 am

    Felix stretched out his shoulders, little popping resounding in the air as he twisted his long arms around. A cavernous yawn parted his pink lips, showing off two rows of white teeth. He was amazed at how awake Ryder seemed, and also terribly envious. It took a lot to make him sit upright. His dark hair was fairly neat still, but his eyes were half blind due to sleep. It would fade from his body slowly, in increments. He was somewhat thankful for the relative quiet of the room. To much conversation early in the morning gave him headaches that lasted all day.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:45 pm

    Ryder decided, although he did not want to, that he should really get up and get dressed. Pulling himself away from the warm and soft blankets (and Felix) and got out of bed. well, stumble would be a far more accurate word in this case, as his attempts to be graceful were shattered as his legs awkwardly hit the ground and he staggered forward. His legs had more or less fallen asleep, so it was hard to stand up. None the less, Ryder made his way to the dresser, opening it and looking at his clothing. He looked at the wide selection of white, white and more white. He pulled out a small looking shirt. And set it on the edge of the dresser as he began to strip off his current shirt, revealing his pale skin. His thin body with bones showing pretty clearly. Changing infront of other people wasn't too odd for the teen. He was expected to do so on many occasions, when he was in suicide watch and such. Someone was always watching. So he didn't think anything of t when he stripped his shirt off, and put another on. He repeated the process with his his pants, taking them off and throwing them into the hamper. He also changed his boxers, slipping on a pair of clean gray ones (; he finally finished when his loose white pants were put on, and he went over to the bed. And crawled back onto the bed, hands running through his hair. Trying to make it cooperate with him instead of sticking out everywhere.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:17 pm

    Felix's eyes widened a bit when he saw Ryder stripping down, a flood of pink rushing to his cheeks. He let his gaze flicker up to the bare ceiling as he tried to force the blush out of his pale cheeks. Felix didn't exactly have any extra clothes to change into, so he just tugged at his collar of his black v-neck, the soft fabric stretching a bit. When Ryder crawled his way back onto the bed, Felix moved accomidatively (is that even a word?) so that the boy could curl up against his side again if he'd like. He couldn't help but run a hand through the boy's fringe, managing to get it to lay relatively flat. He didn't even want to think about how messed up his own hair could be because he usually had to have a shower to even attempt to tame the dark locks.
    "So, what are your plans for the day?" Felix asked. Sure, the boy didn't have many options, but there were a few possibilities. As long as Felix was with the boy, he could go to any classes offered in the institute. They could also go to the courtyard if he wanted. Felix was a ticket to Ryder's relative freedom.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Aug 21, 2013 1:35 am

    I was thinking Ryder has a schizophrenic attack? Freaks out a bit, throws a lamp perhaps. Should he freak out and like, get violent and throw things, hit things and freak out. Or maybe he panics and grabs Felix, trying to like, hide himself in his shirt. Like he's a scared child, hoping Felix will 'make it go away'? I don't know. Whatever you think will be good. Maybe Ryder freaks out and destroys some sh*t but Felix calms him down cx
    --
    The younger boy couldn't help but smile gently as Felix ran a hand through his mess of hair. He had kinda given up on it. He usually just ran his hands through it, knowing there wasn't much he could do. He wasn't allowed to use a straightener anymore. No no no. A really hot stick? That wouldn't turn out pleasent. He was supposed to get it cut soon anyways. Not that he'd allow them to cut his hair though; he was in love with his longer hair. Ryder took the opportunity and curled back up next to Felix, finding comfort in laying next to him. "Not really," He said quietly, pausing. "I was wondering though.... Could we go to the courtyard today?" He wasn't really sure why he wanted to do this. He hardly ever left his room. These last few days were the most he's ever gone out in such a short period of time. He decided that he missed the outside and all its beauty. He longed to take a deep breath of fresh air, to hear the birds sing and feel the wind in his face. Ryder hoped it would... heal him. He was beginning to realize how much he had pulled himself away from everything. Being with Felix made him happy, made him smile, made him feel normal. So maybe trying to get better would get him out sooner.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:21 am

    Sure thing! That'd be kinda cute c: Whatever you want
    Dudeeee you need to go look at my improved character page.
    It has all of my pretty new characters/working characters.
    They're gorgeous, man....

    Felix let his fingers curl over the boy's bony wrist lightly -- light enough that he could pull away without any effort, like always. He hadn't realized how much he'd shied away from human contact since he'd started his college. Sure, sometimes he hung out with guys and played some baseball, but they would invite him for beers or to go clubbing or dancing, but he never went. It was all just revealing itself to him. He had pulled away from social contact and used school and homework as an excuse.
    He arched an eyebrow at the suggestion of outside but said, "Of course we can. I'll have to warn one of the doctors because I don't want either of us to get in trouble, but I'm sure they won't mind." He knew that they didn't want Ryder around other patients because his unpredictable nature could be dangerous to anyone nearby. He had to tell someone so they could clear the courtyard for a half hour or so. It was just an extra safety precautions.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:24 pm

    Duuddeee I know I saw it.
    And holy sh-t
    I'm in love
    *drools*
    Give me a second... I need to think of a acceptable reply >.<


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:41 pm

    Yeah, I got bored.
    And I had this long list of people.
    Those were the guys on the list.
    So I made a pretty page with like twenty characters...


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:54 pm

    He felt the other's hand gently curl around his wrist, and smiled slightly. He enjoyed Felixs' touch, maybe a bit too much. It was comforting though, and it relaxed him. "Great!" He said in a very vibrant, excited voice. He then rested his head back on Felixs' chest, contently laying there. It wasn't until a few seconds later that his whole body tensed up, and he screwed his eyes shut. "No," he whimpered, before his hands flew up to his ears, nails latching onto the skin around his ears, ripping into the soft flesh. "No," he repeated, body twitching back, violently flailing away from Felix "Stop! Leave me alone!" he practically screamed, his body once more twitching violently, making him fall out of the bed. He scrambled over to the wall, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks, teeth clenched down. "Leave me alone! Stop. Stop. Stop," he cried, hands still clutching the sides of his head, as he began to violently slam his head gainst the wall, trying to desperately stop the voices that screamed at him. It always happened so quickly, without warning. His entire personality changed in these moments, and he turned into a whole new person.
    --
    I had an idea. Maybe Ryder throws a lamp or something at Felix, and it hits him. Inflicting maybe a little or a lot of damage. And perhaps then a nurse or something comes in and takes Felix away to help him clean his wounds, and another nurse has to put a straight jacket on Ryder? Or something like that. I'm not sure. I was just thinking it'd be interesting, and cute/sad when Ryder feels utterly terrible for it and stops responding completely, scared he'll hurt Felix again.
    And sorry if it seems like I'm spot lighting.... I'm just bad at coming up with ideas for other bars tees because I'm other the role player won't like it.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:12 am

    I don't really mind haha. Of course. If you wanna do something like that, we can! I don't really mind any of that stuff.

    Felix watched how quickly the boy slid down the slope. It twisted at his gut, seeing the complete alteration of his mood in a blink of the eye. He pushed himself up off the bed and hurried over to where Ryder was. At this moment he was more concerned with Ryder's safety than he was with Ryder being scared of him. Those big hands of his wrapped around Ryder's wrists and pried them away from his head. He quickly put both of the boy's wrists in one of his hands and pulled him away from the wall so he couldn't continue the harm he was inflicting on himself.
    "Ryder, you can't hurt yourself. He's not going to leave you alone if you keep smashing your head against the wall. You have to breath, Ryder. Please, calm down," Felix murmured, pulling Ryder between his legs, and running the back of his hand over the young boy's forehead in a soothing motion. He sort of leaned against the nightstand and held Ryder with his legs, his hand holding the boy's wrists and his other hand running through Ryder's mop of long hair.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:54 am

    Haha, okay, cool c:
    --
    Ryder wasn't Ryder anymore, and Felix wasn't the same to him at the moment. It wasn't the man he had just fallen asleep with, cradled in his arms. He, along with everything around him, was mixed with his illusions and hallucinations. The voices in his mind screamed and howled, sending ripples of pain throughout his head. Reality was mixing with his mind games and he couldn't distinguish what was real. Panic ripped through him when his wrists were grabbed, his eyes reflected his fear. Tears continued to flow down from his eyes, and he was pulled closer to Felix. He felt his hand go through his hair, and it began to calm him down. But soon something in his mind made a deathly screech, and his vision blurred, and he didn't realize he had pushed Felix until he had. He pushed so hard that the other slammed into the nightstand, and the lamp on it fell onto Felix.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:36 am

    please forgive me for being so terribly awkward....
    I have troubles talking to people even on the internet anymore.

    Felix didn't realize what was happening until the back of his head smacked against the wood of the side table with a sickening sort of crack. Before he could actually manage to black out, he felt a lamp fall against his face, knowing that there would surely be a bruising from the heavy wood. Then his sight flickered away to a blinding white before shifting to a calm black, a light buzzing in his ears.
    He didn't wake up for a long time, about ten hours, mainly because of the drugs they were pumping into his system after they'd sewn up the cut on the back of his head and done multiple x-rays to assure that he hadn't cracked his skull anywhere. He had a quickly fading bruise on his forehead, but it was covered by the bandages around his head. He would be wearing beanies for a while due to the fact that they had shaved his head, and he wasn't partial to being bald. The first words that came out of his mouth when he woke up were, "Is Ryder okay?"


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:54 am

    Oh it's fine! I'm sure I have enough spunk for the both of us :b
    Don't worry love (:
    I understand.
    --
    Ryder scrambled away from Felix as the lamp began to fall, watching the scene unfold before him. It hit him, what he had done, the second Felix seemed to black out. A ear shattering scream escaped his lungs, as he cowered in the corner, hugging himself. He was sobbing violently, still screaming bloody murder. Soon the room was filled with a few doctors and nurses, the nurses rushing over the the injured Felix while the doctors hurried to Ryder. They had to grab hold of his arms, because he fought them off, still sobbing, shockwaves rippling through his body as he tried to make sense of what was happening. What had he done? He-he did this? Still trying to fight, trying so hard to fix what he had done, he tried to go to Felix, but felt a needle go into his neck. His vision began to blur, the last thing he saw was the nurses hauling Felix away.
    --
    Felix's doctor turned to look at him, happy to find he was finally up. She smiled sweetly at him, walking towards him, charts in hand "Ah, Mr.Andrew, it's good to see you're awake," her voice was very soft and gentle, and she flipped through the papers on her clipboard. She didn't answer his first question, as she found it unnecessary. What needed to happen was for her to test his reflexes, to make sure his concussion didn't affect his response skills. "Now, I just need to do some tests..." Her voice trailed off, as she pulled out a small flashlight, pointing it into Felixs' left eye.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:16 am

    Okay c:

    Felix closed his eyes and mumbled through clenched teeth, "Is. Ryder. Okay?" His voice held that note of a growl -- the same one it had when he was making the security men let go of the small boy who was his charge.

    I'll finish this tomorrow.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:17 am

    Wait... So does that mean not reply and wait? Or should I go ahead an reply? Lol jut making sure I don't do something stupid xD
    --


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:54 am

    It's way unfinished.
    I mean, if you wanna reply, you can.
    But that's hardly anything to work off of.
    If you think you can come up with a good post, go for it.
    If not, don't waste your time haha.
    You can reply to another Roleplay or just sit back and relax.
    I dunno.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:58 am

    I can work off it x)
    --
    She sighed, and pulled away. "Yes, Mr.Noan is perfectly fine. After we sedated him we tended to his wounds, which were minor. He had a concussion, but it wasn't anything major. He normally hits his head against the wall, so we knew what to do. We detained him in the isolation room, so he can't hurt himself or others now," she said, speaking in her matter-of-fact voice. She didn't see why the man cared so much. Sure he was trying to assist the boy, but why did he truly care? He had just gotten injured by him after all.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:57 pm

    "I don't see why that was so difficult to answer," he mumbled, letting his eyes traverse the room he was in. There was a light sigh as he looked at all the machines he was hooked up to. Then he spoke again, "How bad am I?" He remembered a scene vaguely familiar to this one in his past. He'd taken a fast pitch to his forehead and then some of the kids on the baseball team started hitting him with their bats and calling him a lot of names. He'd ended up with a broken rib, a lot of bone bruising, a chipped tooth, and a dislocated elbow. He knew for sure that he wasn't that bad right now. He could only barely feel the throbbing knot in the back of his head.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:20 am

    The woman simply rolled her eyes, scribbling something into the clip board. "Well you could be worse. You could have had a sundial hematoma, which means your head would have hit the desk so hard that the blood vessels in you head would rupture and you'd bleed to death, but no before you brain would expand, eventually killing you. And you're not dead so obviously you're lucky," she chuckled "You did however obtain a concusion. It wasn't serious, but you're gonna have to take it easy for a few weeks. You suffered bruising on your back and on your chest, an the main injury is your head. The lamp shattered into some small pieces, so we had to remove quite a few fragments. There was one shard in particular that cut a large area of your head, and it will scar. Your hair should re-grow soon and cover it, but it extends to your forehead, so a small scar will be visible. Other than that you'll just be sore. But in the long run you're okay." She then went back to doing a few tests, checking his reflexes and checking his head to make sure everything was healing properly.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:22 am

    I enjoy having a nurse for a mom cx she is very useful when it domes to medical questions. So I know whatever I put is accurate c:
    --


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:04 am

    MY MOM IS A NURSE TOO!

    "Okay, thanks. You know, this hospital room is wonderful and all, but I'd really like to go check on Ryder," Felix muttered after she finished up the majority of her tests. He had enough drugs in him that he couldn't much feel the throbbing in his head, and he wanted to see with his own eyes that Ryder was okay. That was his main concern at the moment. Plus, the antiseptic smell of the hospital room was making him terribly uncomfortable. It was one thing to visit someone in a hospital, but when he was the one in there, he got extremely nervous. He had too many bad memories of the place, and they never had settled well with him.
    His hand immediately went up to assure him that his rosary was still there. His heart leaped and then stopped when his fingers couldn't find the chain. He could hear the heart rate monitor's irregular beeping, but it didn't register that that had anything to do with his own heart. He was more concerned with the whereabouts of his necklace.


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