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    It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:52 am

    "Ryder James Ly-" He cut himself off. He hated that name. His last name. Just to hear the word sent a flashwave of anger coursing through his veins. That name. It was the name of a murderer. His father, the man he hated more than those who pushed Philip to kill himself. That man was abusive to him, his mother and little sisters. He hated his father with a burning passion. He would never use that last name. "Noan. Ryder James Noan" He corrected himself with a scowl. He liked his mothers last name. The name from a sweet, kind, loving mother. He liked the name more. But all his files said Lyker. So people called him Mr.Lyker a lot. That's when he normally would attack them. He simply looked at Felix with his round blue eyes, and took off his glasses, cleaning them with the end of his shirt. Removing the glasses showed the gray rim of color in his eyes, that made them pop.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:07 am

    "Do you mind if I call you Ryder, or would you prefer something else?" he asked casually, mentally taking note of the boy's slip up and the slight flair of anger that followed. Somewhere in the part of his mind he buried deep away, he felt a twinge of recognition. It was in that masochistic section of his memory, the thoughts he accessed to torture himself into submission when he was stepping out of line. He recognized the flash of unhappiness in the boy's face. it was the same kind of angry Felix would become when he was younger, when his mom came home, eyes wide with some sort of mind-altering substance that would keep her out of sadness for a few hours. The thoughts alone made him want to claw at his scalp, physically rip the memories from his brain. Amazingly enough, he managed to keep a casual look on his face as he fought back his own personal attack. To someone who really knew him, though, it would be obvious. He was blinking too often, but not often enough to be suspicious. He was chewing on the side of his tongue, ripping off paper-thin pieces of his flesh. His breathing wasn't really on a tempo. It was all so subtle, so unnoticeable to someone who had never witnessed one of his moments.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:23 am

    "Ryder is fine" He muttered in a quiet voice now. His mood seemed to drop slightly, for whatever reason. Maybe a combo of bad memories, and the anxiety of meeting a new person was just a bit much for the boy. He slipped the clean glasses back over his eyes, letting the bridge softly rest on his nose. (and time for a panic attack (:< So cute cuddling or some sh-t can happen xD) And hearing the creak of the closet, his body froze. Oh no. Creature was awaking. Although these sounds and figures were merely illusions, they were very real to him. So the threats of the beast were very real. And when the thing never left him alone, it drove him over the edge. The boy began to tremble slightly, shoving the paper and pencil away, scrambling to hide behind the bed. Maybe if he couldn't see him, he would leave him alone.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:30 am

    When Felix managed to regain his mental footing, Ryder was crouching behind the bed. The boy seemed to be hiding. He let loose a string of silent curse words, concerned that he may have done something, said something, that had put Ryder off. As far as he knew, he hadn't spoken during his little mental hiatus, but he could very well be wrong. He had a tendency to be verbally impulsive during his little episodes. They had a history of getting him into loads of trouble during school. Some of his professors had even gone as far as labeling him "unpredictable." Despite these lapses in vocal judgement, he graduated top of his class, favorite student in the majority of his professors' hearts. He didn't dare say a word now, worried that he may further frighten Ryder. He had seemed so much calmer than expected, so this transgression seemed surprising to Felix.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:45 am

    I get to go to Seaside tomorrow Very Happy So pumped! I love seaside! Have you ever been there? Lol, just curious ^^ Since I have concluded you live in Washington Wink And seaside ain't too far from the glorious state above me xDDDD I ramble on too much...
    --
    Ryder saw the dark figure approach him, snarling. Seeming to hiss words of evil, disgust, and pure hatred at him. Ryder was freaking out. Normally he was alone in his room when this happened, so he could do as he pleased. And for some reason it was easier. But having Felix there, seemed to make him panic more. Maybe being in the presence of another person was just different to what he was used to. Also, Creature threatened to hurt the other man. Although he could do nothing to harm him. Ryder wasn't thinking straight, and believed this. He darted from his area, over to a corner, attempting to lose the terrifying creature. No such luck. The beast told him to harm himself, in order to leave Felix alone. And they boy obeyed. He clawed at his arms, body curling up in the corner. Heis small and boney figure getting small. "Go away" He whispered, as he screwed his eyes shut, clamped his jaw shut, and let his nails rip away the flesh from his arms. Dark, hot and sticky blood began to come from his arms, as he was trembling. He could swear he could feel the hot, dank breath coming in short pants from the black animal over him. And it only fueled him. "Leave me alone!" He finally screeched, clawing out at the animal over him. But no luck. He only went back to burying his head in his arms as they ripped away at each other. "Please, go. I don't want you anymore. Stop"


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:54 am

    I have been there! I love Seaside c:

    Felix watched the scene in horror. He knew he should get help. One of the doctors would know how to handle it, but his feet were cemented to the floor. Even as the scent of blood drifted into his mind, he was unable to move. He knew it was probably the worst decision he could make, but he couldn't control his feet. They quickly led him over to the boy, crossing the small room in just a few strides. He crouched down, his body shielding the boy protectively. He pried Ryder's hands off of his arms to cease the harmful actions. Without regard for the possible outcome, his arms snaked around the boy's body, lifting him up off of the ground. He held him like a man would hold his bride as he stepped over the threshold, tight against his chest with one arm in the crook of his knees and one around his chest. He hummed a soothing melody. Never before had he reacted to an episode in such an unprofessional way.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:06 am

    Yay! Lol, I loovvee seaside. Possibly my favorite beach. I mean, it's crowded yes, but it's so fun! We always stay in a hotel on the beach, a few minutes from downtown. And we go get seafood from this amazing restaurant called Eleanor's. And we get those epic seaside sweatshirts c: And gahhh I just love going xD I love how we live so *sorta* close. It's like I know you! Lol, we may have actually seen each other before o.o But we would never know xD THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!
    --
    Ryder couldn't believe it. Someone was touching him. Like, seriously. He was reluctant to even let a nurse clean his cuts. So this full on holding was... a bit much. But there was this craving deep inside him, that longed so deeply for contact. To just, touch someone. Not be scared, or angry, or frustrated. He did something unexpected. He clung to him. Like a child. Arms wrapped around the older mans neck, letting his face fall into the crook of his neck. His unhealthily small body molded against Felix, and he silently sobbed into the other mans skin. And with that, Creature seemed to vanish. Dissolve into thin air. of course, he wasn't gone forever. No. But this act made the creature of hate leave for the time being. No words left the boys mouth, as he continued to cling to Felix. To anyone who knew Ryder, this scene would be...... phenomenal.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:53 pm

    That would be amazing... And it's totally possible! That's so cool. Oh my god I never even thought about that!

    Felix kept his hold on the boy. His arms were wrapped loosely enough that, were he to want to get away, he could easily wriggle out Felix's arms. But the grip was tight enough that he wouldn't fall. His arms weren't as strong as he'd been accustomed to because he hadn't had much time to get out of class and his dorm, but Ryder was light, easy to hold. Blood spotted his lightly tanned arms and stained his shirt. He didn't really mind though. It was all part of the job. Well, sort of. Usually you didn't get covered in blood because you were cradling your patient like a child. He was surprised, at that point, that no one had come in. Usually they kept cameras in the rooms so they knew when a patient was having an attack and they could respond immediately. He was glad no one had come in though. Ryder would probably get scared or mad, and that was the last thing he needed at that point.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:25 pm

    Haha, it would be amazing ^^
    --
    Ryder, being the brilliant person he was, enjoyed covering the camera with articles of clothing. So no one was going to disturb them for awhile. (; The boy's breath began to slow down, as he began to calm. Soon, his silent sobbing turned into the soft, hot breaths that escaped his lips, landing on the other boy's skin. His eyes closed, glasses long forgotten on the ground, his body began to relax. He soon just lay in the older mans arms, not tense or feral. Just relaxed, and actually content with it. He enjoyed it. He really did. He gently shifted so his face nuzzled the crook of Felix's neck, taking a soft breath, inhaling the scent of the others cologne.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:06 am

    Felix continued his hushed humming, slightly rocking the boy in his arms. He could feel as the boy began to relax, his tensed muscles slackening with each ticking second. He allowed the boy to choose if he wanted to stay in his arms, and when he made his decision, he couldn't help the smile that curled up his lips. It was kind of sweet the way Ryder was curled in his arms, his face nuzzled up against Felix's warm neck. The boy's breath fanning over his skin felt almost relaxing to him. The whole moment would be slightly adorable if they weren't in the setting that they were in.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:06 am

    OMG. THE OCEAN WAS BEING A B-TCH AND TOTALLY SPLASHED ME WITH ICE COLD WATER, AND THEN KILLED MY AMAZING SAND CASTLE. I MEAN SERIOUSLY. THAT THING WAS FLIPPING EPIC. WITH A MOTE, AND 5 STORIES, AND TOWERS AND DETAIL AND SH-T. WHYYYYYYYY
    --
    Soon, there was a soft knocking on the door
    "Ryder?" A voice called "It's me, Lenna. Can I come in?"
    With that, the boy pulled his face, away, and slithered away from his grasp. He tugged at the bottom of his plain shirt, letting his feet carry him over the floor. He then grabbed the handle, and opened t, looking at the woman in front of him
    "Hey there" She smiled "Where are your glasses little one?"[b/] She laughed.
    [b]"In a corner"
    He murmured, rubbing one of his eyes softly. A faint hint of tenses resided in his muscles, gaining as he stood there. Just more people made him nervous. Despite what just happened, it was still slightly hard to deal with
    "Well don't lose them, kay? Anywho, I got you something" She pulled something from her pocket "Gummy bears. As promised" His eyes lit up, and he tentatively reached out, and grabbed the bag. Then retreated, going into the closet to hide and munch on his snack. The woman turned, seeing Felix "Oh, hello" She extended him a hand "I'm Lenna. Ryder's older sister. You must be one of the new workers here"


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:23 pm

    Felix couldn't help but feel just a little bit sad as Ryder freed himself from his grip and ran to hide, but he hid his feelings well. He put on a gentle smile and held out his hand for Lenna. "Hello, Lenna. I'm Felix. I guess you could say I'm a worker here, unpaid though. They don't like to pay people who don't have college graduate certificates," he said in a light tone, his eyes twinkling. He had that natural charm emanating from him as he spoke, not that he meant for it to happen. It just kind of did without him trying.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:36 pm

    The woman shook his hand firmly "Nice to meet you Felix" She spoke kindly. She looked rather similar to Ryder. Only to be expected of siblings. Her hair was only the faintest shades lighter than his dark hair, falling to her shoulders, and her dark blue eyes had flecks of green, not gray. "I hope my brother hasn't given you any trouble. He seemed in a rather calm mood though. Which is always nice. She murmured in a quiet voice, glancing at the closest "I just hate to see him like this. It isn't him." She sighed, and tried to smile again.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:00 pm

    "He's been wonderful. Don't worry about it, miss. I think he's fairly nice, but that may just be me," he said with an easy shrug, his eyes going to where Ryder was. He let his gaze go back to Lenna after a moment and his smile regained it's easy casualty. He stuffed his hands in his pocket, not even really noticing the blood that caked his shirt and his ivory arms. "So, would you like to go talk in the hall, leave him in peace? Or would you like me to leave, so you two can have some time together?" He really didn't want to leave, but he knew he should be polite. Plus, he would have to go inform someone that Ryder had experienced an episode and someone needed to get in and check on the scrapes on his arms.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:08 pm

    Back from seaside c:
    --
    Lenna couldn't help but smile. Nice? Well, Felix must have done something right. "Oh, no. Don't leave just because I'm here" She smirked "I just came by on my way home from work to say hi to him. No no, you stay. I'm going soon" She smiled "It was nice to meet you Felix. I hope things go well for you and Ryder" She noticed the blood on him "And I hope that blood wasn't from my brother... If it was, I apologize on his half" She then waved "Don't let him eat all the gummy bears! Or he'll get hyper" She waved, and went to exit the room.
    Ryder was slowly nibbling on the fruity flavored gummies, in the corner of the room.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:36 pm

    "I hope to see you again soon!" Felix said as she ducked out of the room. He then turned around to look at Ryder. He asked, "Mind if I sit down?" gesturing to the little, white chair in the corner. His legs were slightly tired from holding Ryder up for so long. He couldn't help but find it sweet that the boy's sister had stopped by just to bring Ryder candy. It was good to see that someone cared about the boy, and usually that helped kids get better faster.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:35 pm

    The small boy shook his head, not minding if Felix sat next him., In fact, he would prefer it. To know he still has someone here too who cares for him enough to stick with him. He let his gaze travel to him, as he nibbled on a cherry gummy bear.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:22 pm

    Felix sat next to Ryder, his long legs crossed in front of him. He leaned back against the bed, his shoulders slumping slightly. The tension from earlier immediately left his being as he relaxed into a comfortable position. He wanted to talk to Ryder, ask him questions and learn everything, but he forced himself to hold back. They were in a good place, even though it was quiet. He knew that Ryder trusted him which was what he wanted, and he didn't want to push his luck. Plus, the quiet was kind of nice. The only noise being the crinkling of the gummy bear bag.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:39 am

    Eventually, Ryder decided he was full. He gently wrapped his hands around the bag, closing it, and leaned over the bed, his waist bending over so his head gently rested on the ground. He set the bag of sweets under the bed, next to a painting he hadn't finished, and then lifted his body back up. He sat back up, and crossed his legs, and folded his hands in his laps. He then looked over, at Felix. He didn't say anything, just looked at him. He didn't know what to do now. Normally his therapists just did their thing. He was lost.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:25 am

    "You should tell me something about yourself. Anything you want, just something, yeah?" he asked, a curious smile gracing his thin lips. He couldn't help but want to know more about the boy, and not the things he could read in files made up by therapists who only had one goal with no willingness to learn anything else about him. Ryder was more than just some jumble of problems. He was a person, too, and his affliction didn't define his character.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Apr 25, 2013 10:56 am

    The boy sat there for the longest time, not speaking. Just... looking at Felix. Like as if he was analyzing the boy. But, after awhile, he finally answered "I like the color red" He said simply, legs still crossed and hands still in his lap. He then yawned a little, his mouth opening wide as his head rolled back slightly.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Apr 25, 2013 10:44 pm

    Felix glanced at his wrist, forgetting that he'd taken his watch off this morning. With a sigh, he heaved himself to his feet and said, "I'll leave you alone. I have some homework to work on." He offered another kind smile at Ryder as he walked to the door. Everything about him seemed relaxed as he sauntered to the door. "I'll see you later, Ryder!" he said, his voice bright. He tapped on the door so the doctor would let him back into the hallway.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:28 am

    A small flash of fear appeared in his eyes and he quickly got to his feet. He half ran half stumbled over to Felix, not used to really sprinting. He accidently kinda ran into him, but managed to stagger back awkwardly. Ryder wasn't the most graceful person xD Then, he looked up at the boy, eyes wide and almost scared "You'll come back right? You promise to come back? Please... You won't just leave and never come back?" Truth be told, the small boy had actually come to like Felix slightly. I mean, he did help him when he had his panic attack. And they had shared real, physical contact. And that was a big deal to Ryder. So of course Felix was already important to him. And he wanted to make sure he didn't just bail on him, like most people did.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:30 pm

    Felix offered him a lopsided grin and he slowly lifted his hand, brushing a few stray hairs out of Ryder's eyes and straightened the boy's glasses. He let his hand fall back to his side. He stuffed both of his hands in his pockets. His fingers absently played with the threads in his pocket.
    His eyes locked with Ryder's. In a sincere voice, he said, "Of course I'll come back. If you want me to come back sometime, and I'm not here, just tell someone to go get me, yeah? And I'll come on over as fast as I can. I promise."



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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:47 am

    The boy let out a sigh of relief, as if his simple words of comfort solved everything. "Okay" He smiled gently, looking at him "Goodbye" He then slowly turned around, and went back to his small space behind the bed.
    Then, the door clicked open, the doctor opening it. "How was your time with ryder? I hope he didn't... act out."


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