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    It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed May 22, 2013 3:19 am

    Ryder took a moment, letting all the information seep into his mind. Despite what most thought, he is quite the intelligent boy. Although, yes, his uniqueness does limit him, he finds ways in shwing his complex thinking. "Well..." He began "I'll make sure I work out a lot so then I get strong. Then, if I try and grow more *by eating better, then I can soon be stronger, and be able to carry you wherever you want!" He chirped, Another time where his brilliance was.... limited. He of all people should know that he won't grow to much, Yes, maybe a few more inches, but he would never be 6'. And he was a walking skeleton, poor thing. He refused to eat even a morsel of food. He just.... lost any interest to eat things. So, in result, doesn't eat. Although, it isn't like he intentionally does it. It just.... happens. He then stood there, a wide and ecstatic grin on his face, although his eyes said the opposite: All droopy, dark, sad. Clouded.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu May 23, 2013 10:30 pm

    "How about you start with the eating part, kiddo? It's definitely more important than working out, yeah?" Felix replied in a light tone, his hand ruffling the younger boy's feathery hair. His strong arm fell around the boy's shoulder in a slightly protective manner as they walked down the hall, back towards Ryder's room. He had a feeling that this kid was going to keep him on his toes, always surprising him with something new and odd. It was fairly endearing.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri May 24, 2013 4:00 am

    Hey, do you have a tumblr?
    --
    "But the food here is gross" He scrunched up his face, sticking out his tongue as if to emphasize just how foul the food was. But when the arm was draped around him, he relaxed a bit, and went calmer. Leaning into Felix's hold, and continued to walk. Then, he suddenly asked out of the blue "Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to die?" It was in such an innocent voice, that it was clear he didn't mean any harm by the question.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sat May 25, 2013 2:09 pm

    "I happen to be a fantastic cook, so don't you worry. I can handle that," Felix answered the boy's comment quickly. When he heard the boy's question, his heart nearly stopped. He had forgotten that he knew plenty about Ryder whereas Ryder knew nothing about him. "I... Uhm, yeah." He had thought about telling him, but he stopped himself. It wasn't really fair to tell someone that it was beautiful to die. That would just drive them to a point of no return. During his last suicide attempt, he had flatlined for two minutes and been in a medically induced coma for three weeks. His free hand subtly traced over the places that Felix knew his scars were.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun May 26, 2013 1:43 am

    "I think about it a lot" He simply said, leaning against Felix a little more "Philip always tells me it's painful. And hurts a lot, and that I wouldn't like it. But then creature will talk about how nice it is, and that it's like you fall asleep, and wake up in a garden. I like creatures description more, Don't you?" He asked, looking up with large, trusting eyes "Although, whenever I try, it just hurts. It hurts a lot." He then added. He himself had tried to kill himself, quite a few times. Mostly, he would begin to burn himself. All because 'creature told him to'. Three times he had lit himself on fire, and he had marks to show it. And once he tried to drown himself. Another he tried to replicate what Philip had done: jump off a roof. But his grandpa got him off. And his more recent attempt was to shoot himself. Got a hold of one of the security guards guns, and almost managed. But had hadn't died, much to his sadness. But now the topic of death was not taboo to him. He found it normal.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun May 26, 2013 2:10 am

    Felix stopped, his legs unable to continue. "Please don't hurt yourself anymore. If you ever want to, tell me. I won't be mad, okay? It's really not worth it, any of it." He was looking into Ryder's eyes, his own were slightly watery. He had swallowed the slight tremble in his voice after the first sentence. it was hard to watch anyone, even a stranger, discuss death so casually, the way Felix knew he had when he was younger. When he had decided on psychiatry, he knew it would be difficult, but he could never have guessed the actual volume of memories it would dredge up.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun May 26, 2013 2:25 am

    He couldn't help but frown, feeling his stomach drop from the sight of Felix. He was now trembling, eyes watering, and his voice was choked up. And Ryder felt like it was his fault (It kind of was) "I-I wont" He stammered, looking like a lost and confused child "I'll talk to you.." He still looked worried, seeing as he felt panicked over how Felix was reacting. Seeing him all.. well, not so strong and rock hard as normal, made Ryder get anxious. It sent him into a panic, and that was clear in his eyes.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun May 26, 2013 2:57 am

    Felix quickly collected himself, pulling Ryder into a gentle hug. A tune emitted from his throat in the form of a quiet hum. He quietly said, "It's okay, sweetheart. Don't worry. I'm fine. Everything is okay, I promise." Holding him in the hall allowed his mind to realize that, to him, this was more than just his college final. He already cared deeply for the boy, and it was beginning to take a romantic turn in his own mind. It was enough too worry him, but no enough to make him step away from the boy. "Don't you worry," he murmured again, attempting to soothe the panicking boy.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun May 26, 2013 3:23 am

    When he hugged him, the boy seemed to ease up at first contact. His fingers curled around the front of Felix's shirt, and he nuzzled his face into his neck. Feeling the warmth spread over his face, making him smile. He really liked Felix. He always made Ryder calm down, and just feel overall happy. Still new to these positive emotions, he had yet to fully understand just exactly how he felt, but was still content with the feelings none the less. "I'm tired" He finally declared, mumbling it, his breath warm and gently blowing onto the other man's neck.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun May 26, 2013 3:30 am

    Felix picked the boy up in the way that parent would pick up their child, placing him on his hip as he walked down the hall. He carried the boy with one arm, finding it easy to hold his weight. He was able to flash his key card and quickly make it back to Ryder's room. He flashed his card and entered the security code, carrying Ryder into the room. "Okay, we're back in your room, Hun. You can go to sleep now, he murmured, placing him on his bed gently. "I'll leave you alone now, yeah?"


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Sun May 26, 2013 3:41 am

    gtg. Have a early church thingy tomorrow, so I need to try and sleep now :I
    --
    He happily clung to him, not protesting as he was carried to his room. But when he was set down, and when Felix said he was going to leave, Ryder protested. "No" He frowned, fingers only tightening around his shirt "Don't go... Please" He begged


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun May 26, 2013 3:49 am

    "Shh, okay, I'll stay here. Let's lay down, so you can go to sleep." He knew it was probably against the rules and it was really wrong, but he laid down, gently pulling Ryder down on his chest. His arms were tangled around the boy protectively and he rubbed circles on his shoulder blades. He couldn't believe how small the kid was, laying in his arms. Felix could feel his own heart hammering in his chest and butterflies fluttering in his gut at their proximity, their intimate position. He had to remind himself that Ryder wasn't some guy he'd just met. Ryder probably didn't even understand the intimacy. The boy was probably just glad to not be alone.

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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri May 31, 2013 4:44 am

    Oooh, you do?! What is it? I wanna follow you :3 Mine's homosexual-giraffe
    --
    "Thank you" He whispered, desperately clinging to him, burying his face into the other man's chest. His fingers curled around his shirt, and his face was pushed into the fabric, inhaling the soft scent of cologne. His legs were pressed against Felix, his body curved and shaped so it fit perfectly against him. He just curled up, right next to Felix. They fit together virtually perfectly, and he was instantly relaxed. "Thank you" He repeated, voice more relaxed "Thank you. So much" It was more than just laying there with him. He was thanking him for everything. Sticking with him, helping him, comforting him, caring about him. It was the most anyone had ever done for him. And Ryder loved it.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:14 am

    "Of course," Felix whispered, his hand rubbing Soothing circles in the younger boy's back. His grip around Ryder was tight, a protective sort of feel to it. The way the boy kept thanking him made Felix feel even better about being there with him. He seemed to so much need someone around him, not to mention the way that Felix's heart was racing. He definitely was partial to the idea of leaving anyways. It felt so nice to be close to someone, tangled up in them.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:16 am

    Passive_aggressive_lover


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Wed Jun 05, 2013 3:51 am

    Is that your tumblr? *goes to look for you*
    --
    "Your heart is beating fast" The boy pointed out, observing his abnormal heart rate. His ear was pressed firmly against the other man's chest, so he heard the rapid thump. "Why?" He questioned, slowly looking up at Felix through his glasses. He had a few theories, but none made sense. It couldn't be from physical activity. No. Felix was very strong and in shape, so carrying Ryder wasn't too hard a task. A heart problem was unlikely, seeing as Ryder had observed him before, and nothing seemed abnormal. A heightened sense of attraction? Nah, there was no one here... wait.... then it was like the whole world crashed down on him, and reality hit him. Ohhhhhh..... Well..... that sure brought a whole new light to just about everything xD


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:11 am

    Felix caught his lower lip between his teeth and absently chewed at it, before deciding he should respond to the question. He willed his heartbeat to slow to something near a regular pace, to no avail. "I dunno. Just happens sometimes," he answer lamely. He didn't want to lie and betray the boy's trust in him, but he surely couldn't tell the truth. Even though his answer was unsatisfactory, he prayed that the boy would take it even if not happily so.

    Yep, that's meh tumblr.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:56 am

    Ryder decided it was a good enough answer, and shifted so his head rested on Felix's chest once more. But this time it was far closer to his head, and more relaxed, more comfortable. "You're why my heart beats faster" He murmured quietly, not thinking too much about the comment. Sure he understood what he was implying, but Ryder didn't care. He was brutally honest. That was just who he was. He enjoyed blunt answers, ones that told the whole truth. He was almost always honest, unless of course it was to protect someone. But he liked exchange of information, but wouldn't hold a grudge over some white lie. But lie to him about something important, and he gets upset over it, very quickly.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:37 am

    A blush spread across Felix's cheeks at the words which slipped out of Ryder's mouth in such an innocent fashion. It was nearly unbelievable to him that this sweet young boy could ever be considered unwell. Sure, Felix knew he wasn't the quickest, but he was smarter than a lot of people one could meet outside these walls. "You sure are a character," Felix murmured. "Now get some sleep. You said you were tired, right?" his voice was gentle, like a soft mumble. It was a habit of his to speak to people in his kind way. It wasn't early impossible for him to sound angry.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:05 am

    The young man couldn't help but smile a little, his fingers curling ever so gently around Felix's shirt. "Good night Felix" He found himself whisper, almost so quiet he wouldn't hear it. Then he slowly began to slip into a serene sleep, the world slowly fading. The sound of Felix's heart beat and slow breathing was the only thing he focused on, truly helping him sleep.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:09 am

    Felix let himself drift off after the boy in his arms. Sure, he knew he wasn't supposed to be sleeping in here with Ryder, but it seemed awful to leave the boy now. Plus, he was so comfortable. He felt so needed, and it felt nice. As he fell asleep, he let his debuts flit away. He culred his body innocently around the other figure in a protective way, the way he always was around the boy.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:53 am

    WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS NEW THINGY!?!?!?! OMG THIS NEW THINGY!!! I DON'T LIKE IT. 
    --
    Skip to wake up possibly?


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:56 am

    If you wanna skip the yeah, totally Razz


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Fåbûløūš on Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:13 pm

    *grumbles* Yeah. I hate the new place where we type xD
    --
    After a few hours of very calm and relaxing sleep, Ryder finally woke up. When he did, he made next to no effort to get up, or move away from the comforting warmth of Felix. He found himself do the opposite actually, and further moved himself closer, his fingers gently resting against the other man's chest. He didn't want to ever move, ever leave or have Felix go. He took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent that lingered on Felix and now on him, smiling softly. He had associated his smell with safety and comfort, and it instantly relaxed him.


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    Re: It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

    Post by Forbidden on Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:40 pm

    Felix's soft breathing was only noticeable by the slight rise and fall of his chest. Ryder's body moved with it, beings as he was laying right on top of the older man. It didn't take long for him to wake up. His long eyelashes fluttered together like wings, some even long enough to brush against his eyelids. Eyes, hazy with sleep, traipsed around the room lazily, finally landing on their resting spot-Ryder. Upon noticing who was curled up with him, a groggy smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 
    "Well, good morning sunshine," he purred in a sleep-intoxicated voice. His fingers brushed away a few strands of hair from Ryder's forehead, tucking them back into place. 


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